im gonna b gone for awhile..

hey, i kno i havent posted in awhile. but now im gonna b gone for a few more days. so i probably wont b commenting on yalls blogs for about a week. so if you dont hear from me in awhile, dont worry. :) miss u guys!

An Explanation

about the last post, yeah, sorry about that.... you see, the depression comes in waves, and i wrote that while having a minurature panic attack, really, i didnt have much reason to... i dont know why i flipped out so much, i think it was because i hadnt taken my 'happy pill' or anti anxiety meds... i blame that, sry about my momentary lapse of insanity, it just happens sometimes.... but in the time i havent been on, i've been writing alot, alot alot, and though i decided to stop my progress with the riley book, while at UBH they gave me the idea to write a short story about it, or rather had me write a short story about my life, so i'm going to write a book about, well me. it might be a little werd, but i'm excited, i havent gotten far at all, but while in UBH i wrote this poem-

People stripped of prejuduce,
and blind to not accept,
thats what i've found here,
within these walls,
i have no fear,

not scared to speak up,
i say what i feel,
and they all listen,
they all help me heal,

we are so different,
yet each understand,
sharing our stories,
they all grabbed my hand,

leading me to light,
we found our separate ways,
hand in hand,
day by day,

now that i'm better,
i'm ready to leave,
i'll never forget you,
but my pain is relieved.


i actually memorized that poem...

i wrote this one two days after i got out :(

slowly i'm fading,
better at last,
and now i'm going back,
slowly days pass,

sadder within hours,
of leaving those walls,
that building standing safe,
it beckons and calls,

i yearn to go back,
to be safe once more,
but i must not give in,
but this pain i can't ignore,

standing on my own,
is harder than i planned,
but i have helpfull people,
that lend me their hands,

whenever i need them,
they stand by my side,
the terrible fact is,
that i almost died,

now that i realize
i have some meaning,
i find i like life,
and this state of being.

and then some other work...

a secret love of life can pass,
in the darkest of your days,
a sweet loving sound does last,
though a terrible haze,

keeping you alive,
even when its hard,
giving off short highs,
but leaving you scarred,

but you realize its worth it,
to live through bursts of hell,
even when its hard,
try to live to tell,

make the happiness last,
no matter how small,
because it really matters,
when sadness calls,

luring you in,
swallowing you whole,
killing your heart,
and stealing your soul,

don't let it take you,
keep it at arms length,
close enough to feel,
but far enough to heal.

just to tell you, i was so freaked last night i never slept, so i wrote four poems, here they are-

I just give up,
you should know,
i'm so pissed off,
from head to toe,

don't you care?
even in the least?
or am i nothing?
you selfish beast,

you said 'I love you,'
then changed your mind,
but i had fallen,
in little time,

but you just end it,
its no big deal,
your over me,
you're heart has healed,

what am i?
some stupid bitch?
that you forgot,
on your map,
a tiny dot,

a point in your life,
thats meaningless now,
no feeling for me,
i don't know how,

but should i care?
i think not?
but on my map,
your to big a dot,

you matter to much to me,
you touched my heart,
but with that touch,
it broke apart.


and the 2nd


though i'm exauhsted,
i can't ever sleep,
these thoughts of you,
just make me weep,

you hurt me so bad,
you can't even comprehend,
these thoughts you left me,
my heart can't mend,

not with this pain,
thats always around,
a constant beating,
i don't make a sound,

i never scream out,
not until now,
so i laugh at your face,
you fat bastard cow,

how could you hurt me?
in that way you did?
you scarred my life,
its something i hid,

but now that its out,
itsmy turn to haunt you,
i want revenge,
for the things that you do,

what number was i?
in your list of victims,
no special person,
just some girl,

another one to hurt,
you have a long list?
let me read it,
now eat my fist.


i'm leaving for the weekend, typre the rest later, bye

giving up

i'm cut off from the world now, i've really given up.... i just got out of a fucking mental hospital, yes, i realize my mother is probly reading this going, 'watch your tongue' but i'm giving up, idc anymore, it over

filling you in

I realize, that in the past week, actually, over a week, i havent replied or posted, i went away for a while, and i'm afraid, i wont be on much anymore, for a little while, explaining would be quite difficult, i'm very sorry, i love and missed you all, i will try my best to be on, and reply to you guys, but please forgive me if i dont.

i think i may...

start writing alot of abstract thought on here, not all of it will be completely insane sounding, but i think, it will help me, if i write what i think, and somebody reads it... and tells me what they think, or, not, you can ignore it when it makes no sense to you, that is fine to, either way, just a warning, you mught come her to find a totally insane post about colors... which comes to mind alot, mainly blood red, dark violet, black, greys, and the darkest shades of blue, but, if you see that, you were warned :P lol, luv yaz

PS
check out this remix, its great

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UKQ_wSoMzJg

insperation melt down

well, lately, everything has given me something to write down, so make into a poem, to make it something it wasnt before, but also, i'm finding to hard to stay focused on what i'm trying to say, in the middle of a poem i switch, focus, and leave it how it is, and when i come back, the feeling, the words, just arent there anymore... this i dont understand, so, instead of finnishing them, by a blank feeling that isnt there anymore, i dont go back, but i'm going to put them up anyway, some finnished, some stop in the middle of a verse... some i get the 1st 2 lines, and all is lost from there...

the sun warns my skin,
i step into the shade,
as happy as i've been,
the happy fades to grey,

i smile for a second,
and i frown for two,
i laugh for a little,
then i cry for you,

the sky a beautuful pink,
turns black when i'm around,
i dont know why this happens,
i sink to the ground,

no tears in my eyes,
i search for some reason,
of why i am like this,
...

and i couldnt finnish, tada!!! lol


though i've healed,
many a' nights,
i wake in tears,
shaking in great fear,

i thought i was done,
with anger and sadness,
but i guess i'm not,
my hate still lingers,

how could you do it?
so cruel and vile,
why'd you choose me?
you're still in denial,

you wanted to hurt me,
to burn a hole in my heart,
well your plan worked,
you tore me apart,

the searing pain still there,
my soul flew away,
now i am empty,
this way, it seems i shall stay,

i dont understand,
i'm lifeless at best,
why do you still torture me?
i just want some rest,

sleep for a while,
let go of my pain,
let it float away,
so i can be sane,

just for a second,
everything fades,
lifes black and white,
a few shades of grey.


and now i'm to tired, post the rest later, love ya all, good night

...

ok, well, i've found internet connection up here, it has SNOW!!!! :0 i, like, never see snow, its weird, but anyway, yesterday i helped pack grandmas apartment up :( sad, today is the wake, tomorrows the funeral, and then i'll come home soon, its cold up here, i inherited some stuff, believe it or not, i'm actually wearing her jacket right now, i got a few of her necklaces, a picture or two, and she collected dolls, so i picked out one with a red dress and brown hair, never was into dolls, but idc, i'm putting it in my room when i get home, but, anyway, i gotta go, love you guys.

Miss you guys!!!

ok, so tomorrow i leave for for the funeral. it'll be very sad, but good news is i'll see my cousins. humph, today has been a sad day, just depressing really, i hate days like those, i feel like a retard, anyway, i'll be back in a few days, maybe i'll have the chance to look tomorrow morning but if not i'll miss you guys!!!!

i don't have a title yet

Just go on,
Tear me apart,
Just go on
Aim for my heart,

For i'm your puppet,
I'm under your control,
Do what you wish,
You have my soul,

Consuming my life,
Even when you hurt me,
I can't walk away,
Yet i want to be free,

Away from the hurt,
You cause my pain,
You treat me like dirt,
Yet keep me sane,

What is it about you?
What makes me so stupid?
Why do i love you?
I really hate Cupid.




ehhhh, ok, it sucked, i no, o well wat ever, i can deal with that. but now go look this girl up, and watch the video, i love this song, shes my fav. artist right now i think...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hmbi_Q5e38I&NR=1

random thoughts

my last post, i know, prolly didnt make much sense, i'm sorry about that, i had just found out my great grandmother past away, i was... i bit, upset. but all is well, i wont be on this weekend i dont think, i'm flying away for a bit, to got to her funeral, so saterday, sunday, and monday, i'll be missin yaz!!! lol but on a better note, i'v finall gotten to chapter 8 i think, on my book, its taken an intresting turn, the words just come out, i dont really know where i get them, but riley and jason are going to some odd places no, actaully, at this point, Riley is in the hospital, it actaully caught me off gaurd when i went back to reread it, i hadnt actually planned for it to happen, but i'm sure she'll get out, that is, if her doctor AKA the killer of her parents doesnt get to her b4 jason does, o ya, i really wasnt kidding when i said it caught me off gaurd, i wasnt ready for it :P lol wow this is getting long, sry, anyway off to go... idk, do something.

gone again

:( sad, so sad in fact, that the words dont come out when i'm writing, i have to force myself to write in order to be sane, but being sane only makes the pain worse, what if i dont want to be sane? i dont think i do, living in a coma would be good, but actually thinking, but not, cuz then, when i wake from the coma, i'd have been thinking, so the pain wouldn't hurt so bad, but that wont work, we all know that, so i guess, i'm just gonna have to deal, like always.

stupid lack of sleep

yes, its 4:50 in the morning, and instead of being normal, and sleeping, i am awake, idk y, but i want to go back to sleep!!! and yes, i have tried that :( it did not work, anyway, i'm so bored i just had to post about this, haha, anyway, I GOT A NEW PHONE!!! BLUE SLIDER!!! YAY!!!

i can't think of a good title, sry

pushed to the point of insanity, that is where i am right now, i think, that i'm so insane, that, all i can do is laugh at things, i mean, really, everything that happens, good or bad, i just laugh... i dont understand, this is just my reaction to everything, it doesnt matter what it is, somebodies face could get ripped off in front of me, and i'd prolly laugh!!! :( thats terrible, i'm failing both my core classes, oops hahahahahahahahaha, i mean seriously, thats not funny, yet i'm still laughing... i mean wat? why?

stars go dim

The stars go dim,
Yet its not day,
The light spreads out,
But the sun turns to gray,

No more bright patterns,
Its all black and white,
No more good times,
Like flying bright kites,

The days are still,
And the nights are long,
Yet you have to endure it,
It does get old,

Though it doesnt seem possible,
The time does pass,
Just slowly, its boring,
Then color comes at last,

The stars brighten,
And the sun burns red,
The grass turns green,
And the gloom goes dead,

But when i ask,
I find out,
That i was alone,
And filled with doubt,

These colors were always here,
But my eyes went blind,
I couldnt find hope,
I just couldnt cope,

But now that i see,
The color is here,
And hope is the key,
I'll hold it dear.

TWILIGHT SOUNDTRACK!!!

I GOT IT!!!! AHHH OMG!!!!

OBAMA WHAT!!!!

SERIOUSLY!!!! YA'LL!!! COME OFF IT!!! THIS!!! IS!!! RIDICULOUS!!! i'm leaving for canada!!!!! jk lol, but no, seriously, seriously? not ok with me, i'm very, very, very... angry, to put it in a nice way

For Somebody Special

i just made this up, its more just a string of words, rather than a poem really, but its got to be the most truthful thing i've ever written, so here goes...


When he looks into your eyes,
And can't tell you you're gorgeous,

When he sees into your soul,
And can't tell you your perfect,

If he tells you you're blind to the world,
Know my dear, its him who can't see,

Because you're beautiful, and wonderful,
And you see things that nobody else can,

Because you are crazy special,
Don't let anybody tell you different.

omg

i just tried to watch the amitaville horror, omg, the scariest movie ever!!! me and my sisters, macy and mckenna, wanted to watch a scary movie, well 30 min. into it we all freaked out so much we had to turn it off :P hahaha, i'm a wimp with scary movies, i was screaming the just about the whole time, it was purty funny...

chain message

Did i like retard another to it send retard a like this reading time sweet your took you since. (now read it backwards)

hahaha, LMAO!!!! i took about 20 minutes trying to figure that out lol it was hilarious!!!

so now my fastest time ever

so today/yesterday i got my fastest time on barrels at the rodeo!!! i've been riding 'Moose' for the past week and we've already beatin my fastest time on Knotch!!! and moose is only 5!!! we got an 18.7 last week, which tied my fastest time on knotch, but this week we got an 18.05!!! i'm really happy, i just got home!!! happy halloween everybody!!! ILY!!!

lanuage slaughter

DO NOT SLAUGHTER LANUAGES!!!! if you want to use the word ya'll use it properly!!!!
when or if you choose to say 'ya'll' do NOT, i repeat, do NOT use it when you are adressing only one person!!!(VICKI!!!) it should be a sin!!!! ya'll, is the shortened version of 'you all' so, use it when you're talking to several people!!! got it?!!!!

in other news, i'm never eating meat again!!!! not kidding, i mean seriously, i was thinking about it, some guy was eating a peice of chicken, it was gross, then i thought more about it, and its like, "hey little innocent chicken, lemme take all ur feathers off, rip you apart, then burn you, then sell you to somebody who's gonna cook you again and rip you even more apart with their teeth." ewwww!!!!!! thats really seriously disgusting!!!!!

i made up my mind

ima stay i guess :P i think it would be weird to get on the computer and not go here, believe it or not this is always the first place i check, hmmm, guess i just freaked out over some other stuff... idk

and if you havent heard of angels and airwaves then you need to look them up right this very second!!!! now!!! its called youtube ya'll!!! use it!!! lol thank you very much!!!!

i think i quit

idk about getting on here anymore, not very many people talk 2 me here, so, i think i might not be gettingon as much, or ever again after this week, idk, if you still wanna talk tell me, i'll give you my e-mail, idk, but theres really no point to this anymore if only 2 people read it...

In Loving Memory

Angela Renee Herzburg
Jan. 20- Oct. 25th 2004

To Angie,
I'm still working on that poem for you, i cant find the right words, because of who you are, and who you always were, i love you so much, we all miss you love.
until, we meet again, love you always,
Taylor

i finally decided to write something about her, if you dont understand this post and you want to, just ask, but i needed to say something to the world, something to remember her by, this post will always be here, so i can never forget her, so that when i need to remember, then i always can, i'll never forget what a wonderful person she was.

from bad to worse...

today, i got outa school, and had to take knotch to the vet... you know he's been limping for about a week now... well, after X-rays and 2 hours of a whole bunch of other stuff, we found out knotch has arthritis :( yep, my 9 year old barrel horse ha arthritis in his back left hock. worste. day. ever. i cant ride him for 3 weeks, and then only light work for a while "lease another horse." ya, thats what the vet said, so after a year and a half of training and starting him over, now that we're ready to compete, i cant ride, what a lovely day its been!!! GOOD NITE!!! i might just not wake up either!!!

: ( yes the title is the frowny face

humph, knotch got hurt again :( but on a better note, my pole bending is getting better, and my goat tying is getting faster, i'll prolly start competing in those events in a few months... and thats about it, except i got a radiohead cd 2day, 'the best of radiohead' umm 4 and 11 are my favorite, and i started up writing my book again... and maybe i'll start writing some more poems 2... hmmm, idk maybe, maybe not, i dont really care anymore

dont you just hate it wen...

1. you step in a puddle of water while wearing new shoes(never done that b4, haha)
2. walk into something several times and always 4get its there(i do that all the time)
3. practice really hard for something, and when it comes down to the competition, you totally bomb it(that happened at the rodeo 2nite)
4. want to say something you know you shouldnt, even if its true
5. trip and fall for no reason at all(have done that alot)
6. say something with a double meaning you didnt realize it had till after you said it
7. want to just punch somebody in the face cuz they get on ur nerves
8. turn in ur homework and get everything wrong (has happened to me)
9. benn ocd about #?(that would be me)

so i can only think of 9, which is good, cuz thats my lucky # i have 2 wake up in 5 hours, yet i'm not tired at all :(

computer trouble!!!!!!

ok so, i'm at my dads house and theres some weird block on both the computers here, and my laptop doesnt get conection here either, so i probly wont be on as much till like next monday, but i will still be on, trust me :P ugh i'm so bored i had a very unlucky day yesterday, ok so i was in math class and had no idea wat the teacher was talking about so i couldnt do my homework, then i went to riding and got sick, my trainer got on knotch, and then knotch got hurt :( and then i came home and my sister was sick!!! wat is with THAT!!!! not cool at all so there ya have it, i gotta bute knotch 4 the next couple 'a days and his leg is wrapped but i dont know if he can rodeo this weekend :'( but i hope he can, cuz i dont need 2 miss another week, i havent rodeo'd the past 2 times, and that is just not cool, so cross ur fingers he'll heal fast!!!! and keep them crossed we dont totally mess up if we end up going!!!!

new poem

this one doesnt have a name, itw about my bff kenna, she's been through it all with me so this is for her...

I laugh and I cry,
Without you I’d die,
You brighten my day,
That’s all I can say,

You gave me life,
Pulled me out of my sorrow,
Took out the stabbing knife,
And gave me happiness to borrow,

Instead I kept it,
But you didn’t mind,
My candle is lit,
Because you’re so kind,

I vent when I’m mad,
And go to you when I’m sad,

My feelings matter to you,
And I can’t thank you enough,
For everything you do,
Putting up with all my stuff,

Taking the tough times with me,
You never left my side,
Not letting me just be,
But live, a helpful guide,
Steering me away from the pain,
Taking my hurt away,
I bigger job than I can explain,
There’s no other words to say…



well there you have it, i really do owe my life to this girl, she continues to amaze me, every single day, i love u kenna!!! i miss u!!!! i'll see u next saterday!!!

Rileys Page!!!!

ok, its up and running!!!! i'm really excited go look and see what you think!!! heres the link!!!

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=419597147

or www.myspace.com/riley_39

they both should work, you just gotta copy and paste it to the url thingy, cuz idk how to make it clickable and all that :P

orchestra concert

so the concert is tomorrow, and yes, i am freaking out :P but i'm excited 2, i've worked really hard, we all have and i thyink we sound pretty good, but i have 2 miss rodeo practice :( and we all no i need 2 work with knotch 2, so 2morrow will be insane, without a doubt, between the test on wednesday in math, the 6 page study guide that has 2 be done in one night, rodeo, and the orchestra concert, i think i'll be ripping my hair out :P jk lol but its all worth it, i love it all, except for the math part :P

and if anybody wants 2 check out Rileys myspace i'm making one 2day after i finnish this post. Riley is the main person in the book i'm writing if ya'll didnt already no that, it should be up by 2night i hope. so tell me wat u think of it, well, one i post the url, but i gotta make it first :P

Worst Rodeo Ever

i shoulda known we were gonna suck :( it wasnt knotch's fault at all. i was sick all day, i almost fainted 10 minutes before my run, and i shoulda scratched, but i was 2 stupid and didnt, poor knotch was scared 2 death wen i almost fell right next 2 him. i felt really bad, he's so scared of every little thing. our end time was a 19 something, which really isnt THAT bad, but the pattern its self just really was NOT good. oh well, i think i got next weeks rodeo 2 fix it, and if not then i'll have 2 weeks 2 fix the pattern, tho it wasnt cuz he didnt no it, it was my fault.
being sick sucks, i hate it. and i thot it would be gone by now!!! but no, its the next day and i'm no better!!!! great, just great, its my uncles birthday 2morrow and i might be sick :( and why on a weekend?!!! why not wen skool is going?!!!! i dont want 2 miss a weekend cuz i'm sick and go 2 skool monday!!! ugh, i'm ranting, sry anyway, thanks for reading-
Taylor

just look at the last part

if u didnt read the title look at the last part of the results, it is the most true thing i've ever gotten from these quizes. and victoria will agree.

Your Autumn Test Results

You are a energetic, warm, optimistic person. You approach everything with a lot of enthusiasm. When you are happiest, you are calm. You appreciate tradition and family. You enjoy feeling cozy. You prefer change to come slowly. You need a long transition period when your life changes. You find love to be the most comforting thing in the world. You feel at peace when you're with your loved ones. Your ideal day is active and full. You like to keep busy with your favorite things, and you appreciate a routine. You are very impatient. You spend more time waiting for something than actually enjoying it.

The Autumn Test

hehe

new backgroun' wada' ya think'
complements of one of my bffs Victoria :P she's much smarter than me, i couldnt get the stupid thing on :P

haha i love these quizes

You Are 76% Interesting

Believe it or not, you are a very fascinating person. You're probably too busy being interesting to realize exactly how interesting you are. You have a rich, full life. You are curious about the world, and you are very open to new experiences. You have a lot to talk about, and people find you to be an amazing conversationalist. And most importantly, you are truly interested in other people. How could anyone find that boring? You truly listen and learn from others. You're not self absorbed or shallow.

Are You Boring or Interesting?

What Your Handbag Says About You

You tend to be relaxed throughout the day. You are naturally at peace. You are a low maintenance person. You can adapt to a variety of situations. You are open and comfortable with who you are. You don't hide anything. You are a very creative person. Your life tends to be a whirlwind, but you always seem to pull it together. You are practical and down to earth. You tend to be a rather reserved and quiet person.

What Does Your Handbag Say About You?

You Are Fraud

You will do anything to get ahead. And if you fail, you can always reinvent yourself. You probably have a sordid past, and you're good at completely hiding it. You find it easy to lie. No one can tell if you're lying, and lying doesn't make you feel guilty. You think people are gullible. And you rather fool them than get fooled.

What Felony Are You?

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have low extroversion. You are quiet and reserved in most social situations. A low key, laid back lifestyle is important to you. You tend to bond slowly, over time, with one or two people. Conscientiousness: You have medium conscientiousness. You're generally good at balancing work and play. When you need to buckle down, you can usually get tasks done. But you've been known to goof off when you know you can get away with it. Agreeableness: You have high agreeableness. You are easy to get along with, and you value harmony highly. Helpful and generous, you are willing to compromise with almost anyone. You give people the benefit of the doubt and don't mind giving someone a second chance. Neuroticism: You have medium neuroticism. You're generally cool and collected, but sometimes you do panic. Little worries or problems can consume you, draining your energy. Your life is pretty smooth, but there's a few emotional bumps you'd like to get rid of. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is high. In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas. You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits. A great admirer of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything.

The Five Factor Personality Test

Your Mind is Purple

Of all the mind types, yours is the most idealistic. You tend to think wild, amazing thoughts. Your dreams and fantasies are intense. Your thoughts are creative, inventive, and without boundaries. You tend to spend a lot of time thinking of fictional people and places - or a very different life for yourself.

What Color Is Your Mind?

Your Mood Ring is Magenta

Weird Creative Inspired Thriving

Mood Ring Generator

You Are Sunrise

You enjoy living a slow, fulfilling life. You enjoy living every moment, no matter how ordinary. You are a person of reflection and meditation. You start and end every day by looking inward. Caring and giving, you enjoy making people happy. You're often cooking for friends or buying them gifts. All in all, you know how to love life for what it is - not for how it should be.

What Time Of Day Are You?

You Are the Sense of Smell

You appreciate the smaller things in life that few people notice. You notice subtle changes just as they happen. You're the first one to know if the seasons are changing or if the cookies are done. You love new environments, and you can recall all the places you've been. You have a sharp memory, and you are often nostalgic for the past. You enjoy traveling internationally. You have an easy time taking in a new place.

Which of the Five Senses Are You?

You May Be a Bit Schizotypal...

A bit odd and socially isolated. You couldn't care less of what others think. And some of your beliefs are a little weird. Like that time you thought you were Jesus.

What Personality Disorder Are You?

Haha, I never thot I was jesus just 2 clear that up :P

Your April Fool's Day Prank Should Be

Setting up the office chair tilt a whirl

What April Fool's Prank Should You Play?

Hahaha, I like that 1!!!!

You Belong in Dublin

Friendly and down to earth, you want to enjoy Europe without snobbery or pretensions. You're the perfect person to go wild on a pub crawl... or enjoy a quiet bike ride through the old part of town.

What European City Do You Belong In?

Sweet, always wanted 2 go there :P

smiley faces :P

I love smiley faces :P arent they so cute! ^_^ u can make so many faces with the most random keys *_* he can be socked :O with a big mouth, or a little mouth :o he can have long eyes =P or short eyes :) he can look like the big fat guy 'Po' from Mulan ^_^ or he can be the little angry one po is always calming down :[ he can be crying :'( or unhappy :/ he can even have a mustache :[/ that 1 doesnt really look right... hmmm, do want it 2 stick its tongue out? i do :P have long eyes? =P even a really curvy mouth :C or he can be angry X-( that doesnt really look like a face does it? well, now i'm just putting random things cuz i dont have much 2 say =P i went shopping yesterday.... something i very rarely do.... once in a year maybe, if i want 2. i'm not much in2 shopping.... for cloths anyway, horse stuff, YES!!!! jewlery? YES!! clothes? NO NO NO!!!! thats probly why i only got 3 things.... probly, i could be wrong, i'm wrong alot. you no what i've noticed? every time i walk out my door, theres this little bucket thingy that i always hit my toes on, EVERY TIME!!!!! i mean, you would think i woulda learned by now right? but no, i still do it.... for the past several months, it hurts really bad 2, i don't just run into it, but i KICK it, hmmm, knotch did great 2day :P goat tying was fun yesterday, my aunt uncle and baby cousin are comming 2 stay the weekend 2night.... hmmm, i need 2 clean my room, ok i'm going 2 stop typing, this is getting long please comment me :P ^_^ :)- Taylor

Quiz and other stuff

You Are 56% Goth

You definitely have some gothicness going on, but you're far from being a stereotypical goth. You enjoy certain elements of goth culture, but you're not going to be into something simply because it's goth. It's likely that you're the type of person who totally defies labels. Good for you! If you are into something, it's because you sincerely love it. Not because it projects a certain image.

Are You Goth?

mk, that actually is kinda me :P hahahahahahahahaha, idk y i'm laughing, :P i like fanta, i'm with my freind victoria :P and we just rode Knotch and Dolly =P it was fun, she looked very uncomfortable on Dolly in my english saddle :P vistit her page, the link is on the bottom near my playlist, btw she is the 1 who picked the colors 4 my page this time, and hahahahahaha i lika halloween :P i like mighty joe young the movie!!!! we watched it last night, and ate a pound of candy, well, not that much candy, but it was alot like being on hyper.... stuff, i dont think its out of my system yet, hahahahahahahaahahahahahahaahahahahjahahaaha ha...... ha okokokokokok anyway i think vikki is getting irritated with me :P

fastest time!!!

ok this will probly be short, i'm very tired... but the rodeo was great 2nite, alot of mis haps, but 4 me it was good, i got my fastest time on barrels 2nite/morning, its funny, yesterday is 2day, but 2morrow is 2day 2!!! hmmm haha weird, anyway, my freind got bucked off tho, not good, she's fine now, but she hurt her ankle wen she landed, anyway going 2 go 2 bed :)

the parade

the parade was great, moose was great, it was all great, :P i'm kinda tired, i just rode Knotch and Dolly, they were...sry but they were great, it was fun, i rode them both bareback, it was... funm sry trying 2 think of something else other than great, but my mind is like a marshmellow, its just not working right 2day :( i'll tell ya'll how the rodeo is 2morrow, thanks 4 reading

Home Comming parade 2morrow :)

the title explains it all, homecomming parade is 2morrow, i'll tell u how it goes wen i get back, or maybe thursday

um quizes again, i got bunches saved up :)

You Should Paint Your Room Blue
Peaceful and soothing, blue rooms have been known to reduce blood pressure.Your blue room will encourage deep rest and great sleep.A blue room is the perfect oasis for a stressful life.
http://www.blogthings.com/whatcolorshouldyoupaintyourroomquiz/
hahahahahahahaha I just painted my room blue!!! O wow that’s good!!! Hahahahaha!!!

You Are A Gold Girl
You're dependable and hard working. You never miss a deadline - and you're never late.You have a clear sense of right and wrong. You're very detail oriented.You get frustrated when your friends are sloppy - or when they don't follow through.You're on top of things, and you wish that everyone else was!
http://www.blogthings.com/whatcolorgirlareyouquiz/

Your Aura is Violet
Idealistic and thoughtful, you have the mind and ideas to change the world.And you have the charisma of a great leader, even if you don't always use it!The purpose of your life: saying truths that other people dare not sayFamous purples include: Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr., Susan B. AnthonyCareers for you to try: Political Activist, Inventor, Life Coach
http://www.blogthings.com/whatcolorisyourauraquiz/

Your Italian Name Is...
Giovanna De Luca
http://www.blogthings.com/italiannamegenerator/

Your Irish Name Is...
Juverna O'Carroll
http://www.blogthings.com/irishnamegenerator/

Your Heart is Feeling Safe
Right now, all is good with your heart. And you intend on keeping it that way.Whether you're deeply in love or just looking, you know that your heart will be taken care of.You never risk your heart too much, but you don't hold it back either. You know who to trust your heart with.Deep down, your heart is susceptible to: Getting a little too comfortableYour current outlook on love: Calm and future orientedYour love life will improve if you: Treat other people's hearts the way you expect yours to be treatedWatch out for: Taking the people you're dating for granted
http://www.blogthings.com/whatisyourheartfeelingquiz/

You Are Much Closer to Your Friends
Your friends are so great, it's hard not to be the closest to them.As for your family, your relationship with them is probably a bit strained.It's okay though. While you can't pick your family, you can pick your friends.And you've picked some amazing friends who count as family to you.
http://www.blogthings.com/areyouclosertoyourfriendsorfamilyquiz/

Kenna, Victoria…. Ya, the last 1 was definantly right J miss ya kenna, Victoria, I see u all the time lol, the rodeo was great, 4 those of ya'll wondering :)

is there really a god?

so 4 the last few years i have questoined if there was a god. and a few days ago i just started writing, just like always, waiting 4 some insperation, and i had been thinking about a conversation i was having on this site with aivilo relluf. a conversation about higher powers and stuff like that, so i just kinda wrote 2 senteces and the rest just kinda... showed up on the page. i mean, yes, i wrote it, but i wasnt thinking about the poem really, its weird, so its a weird poem, it doesnt all rhyme, but its got some of my views about religion in there. not just death and murder like my usual stuff :P anyway, hope u enjoy it, or at least find it interesting ar amusing, o wait, speaking of amusing, it has the word Muse in it, if u still havent heard those songs... GET 2 IT, I'M NOT KIDDING YA'LL lol and wish me luck at the rodeo 2nite please, i'll need it, :)


Does life ever end?
Do we really die?
Does heaven exist?
Or is it a lie?
If there is a god,
Where is he now?
Has he left?
And if so, then how?
Can he hear when we pray?
Does he really listen to us?
If we don't believe,
Does he really send us away?
If there is a devil,
Is he truly bad?
Or can he not help it?
Is he just sad?
Does he want revenge?
Did god do him wrong?
Was it a mistake?
Where does his poor soul truly belong?
How can I believe?
My faith is not there,
I guess I'll see when I leave,
I'll wait till then to care.

not good

ok so i'm gonna start from 2day. i got out early 2day cuz i had 2 go 2 the dentist :( i hate going 2 the dentist, they're so hypicritical!!!! i mean come on!!! seriously!!! they say not to scrach ur teeth with anything sharp!!! the first thing they pull out is a sharp metal thingy and scrape ur teeth with it!!! thats so dumb!!! anyway so i went 2 eat after and i got some chicken, this sounds very pointless 2 put doesnt it, its not, it was breaded chicken, and it tasted funny, but i was starving so i didnt care. but wen i was done i flipped it over, and the whole bottom side was completely raw!!! i feel so sick right now!!! :( ok so moving on, i had rodeo practice last nite, it went pretty well, knotch loped the poles for the 2nd time ever!!! but it was windy, and there were flags hanging... ya so wind flags and knotch don't play so well 2gether lol. but seriously, he was NOT very happy :( ok so now 4 wat i had planned 2 post on
MUSE!!!! if ya'll dont have the cd, GET IT!!! ALL OF THEM!!! mk so thanks 2 Karl Halliday i now love Muse. it all ur fault karl!!! lol. but seriously, ya'll that don't have it, get it. my fav songs are Time is running out, stockholm syndrome, interlude, hystaria, butterflies and hurricanes, the small print, knights of Cydonia, and almost all of the ones on their cd black holes and revolations, if u don't get the cds, look em' up. l8ter ya'll

After Life

Her mind somehow wanders to where you lay,
Deep in the ground most would say,

But she knows different,
You are there with her,

Just quiet barely audilble,
Like a cats quiet purr,

When you left it cut her deep,
You can see it in her face,
even as she sleeps,

She tries to ignore the way she feels,
But that kind of pain won't ever heal.

Hurt
Sing to the moon,
A mask of gloom,

Writing a song,
Takes way to long,

Flying away,
Take me away,
Take me into a brighter day,

I'm sick of this doom,
I'm gonna lose,
Just leave me alone,
You've left your bruise.

Mk off 2 the FFA meeting and the orch meeting, which just happen 2 be at the same time!!! so i gotta go 2 both, miss some of both, but watever, that ok it'll be cool!!! - Taylor

knotch is so good

well the title only goes with the end.
so, school is boring, i got homework the 1st day, but watever, it wasn't alot. all my teacher are pretty cool 2, which is good. um, my schedule is good 2!!! orch. health ed :( algebra then biology. biology is by far the most boring subject, but the class is fun anyway, cool people in there. some are moronic, but watever, i had them in class for 3 years, and 1 more ha\our and a half for 1 semester wont kill me. i dont think anyway, lol. i'm just kidding. so now for the title to kick in
i was riding dolly and purposfully pissing knotch off. and wen dolly wouldnt follow him he would run around bucking and getting mad, so for about 20 minutes i took dolly and put her but facing him, becuz in horse talk thats like shunning him, knotch was NOT happy about it, so ye kicked and bucked and reared and tried everything 2 get her attention, but since i was in control, he got none, finally i walked off and he followed!!! :) go me and dolly right?!!! anyway of course i was on bareback and all, so running around was so fun, we raced a car, we also lost, but she's 28, wat did u expect?! but it was so fun anywho, so i fed them and spent about 45 min. with the nervous reck of a horse that just happens 2 be mine and called Knotch. i decided 2 get on, but i didnt want 2 tack up, so i put his bridle on and rode him bareback. now when i say that, please realize that this is a high risk for my health, and my life!!! bucuz last time i rode him bareback, he bucked me off, time b4 that he bucked me off time b4 that, he tried but only half heartedly, time b4 that he threw me in2 a fence, and the time b4 the time i rode him last with a saddle he threw me, and not 2 brag, but that takes effort!!! hes the 1st horse who has thrown me in a western saddle, and i've been riding 9 years, and ridden some crazy horses. back 2 2day, knotch was an absolute ANGEL!!!we walked and trotted without a problem, but i didnt want 2 push it right after a that big 20- 30 min. fit so i got off. it was an awesome day!!! love u knotch and dolly!!! parker- i miss u honey!!! thats my baby bty, well he's my dog, but he stays at my dads house, and i'm with my mom right now, have'nt seen him in a while :( miss u!!! anyway going 2 bed nite everybody!!!

Gift From Above

so, some of u no i'm not christian. and if u are i respect u for it. but i tend to write and it come out like i am a christian, so i thot i should just say it, i'm not a true one. i sorta believe in him, but i'm not sure, and i have 2 many doubts to say that i'm a christian. so now that thats said and done, here is my poem

You make me smile in the saddest of days,
And you make me laugh when I’m crying,
You brought me out of my darkest haze,
And taught me to live when I was dying,

I love you with all my heart,
This feeling will never die,
I’ve loved you from the very start,
I’ll never say goodbye,

To you I owe my soul,
And all of my love,
You make me whole,
My gift from above.

Just Because

i know i havent posted much poetry lately, but i just made one up. so here it is, its not that good, but who cares right??? tell me wat u think. and don't be shy, tell me if u hate it please, i truly want 2 no.

Snow covered river,
Why is he dead?
The thought makes me shiver,
It sticks in my head,

He drown in the cold,
With no help for him,
With nothing to hold,
And to weak to swim,

He died in pain,
Without a goodbye,
No need to explain,
And no need to cry,

Like he would say,
“Its just life child,
“It’ll be okay,
Its just one day,”

Your misery will end,
It always does,
Your heart will mend,
Just because.

- Taylor Tot

not much 2 say...

i don't have much 2 say. um, last night i was with knotch and there were some deer in the pasture. i hooked the rope 2 his halter while he ate, and a deer jumped the fence. he took off at a full run around our pasture. i got on Dolly bare back. and it was really fun cuz, in order 2 get him 2 stop, i had 2 keep him mind focused on something else, so me and dolls herded him around the arena. finally by some luck we cut him off the same second he stepped on the lead rope, so he stopped and i swung off and got him calmed down, it took about 20 min. of herding 2 get him 2 stop. but it reminded me how much i just love riding, and its not all about drills, but more being in tune with the horse, and dolly is the only horse i've ever truly felt that way on. going on 9 years of being riding partners. and wen i was up on dolly bareback, full out running with knotch, it was like me and dolly were connected and the 3 of us were a team. it was the best. and as soon as dolly knew wat she was suppost 2 do, her old cutting training kicked in, and it felt like we were... almost flying. i no it sounds ridiculous, but 4 those of u who have ever really connected with somebody or something, i mean really connected, u understand me. dolly is probly the only horse i'll ever really connect like this with, to bad shes 28, not much longer til... nvm, heading out 2 the barn now, l8ter ya'll

more quizes....

Your Blogging Type is Artistic and Passionate
You see your blog as the ultimate personal expression - and work hard to make it great.One moment you may be working on a new dramatic design for your blog...And the next, you're passionately writing about your pet causes.Your blog is very important - and you're careful about who you share it with.


What Your Favorite Color Black Says About You:
Timeless --- Stylish --- SophisticatedOverpowering --- Intimidating --- DominantPerfectionist --- Controlling --- Competent



Your Blog Should Be Purple
You're an expressive, offbeat blogger who tends to write about anything and everything.You tend to set blogging trends, and you're the most likely to write your own meme or survey.You are a bit distant though. Your blog is all about you - not what anyone else has to say.


You Are an "A-OK"
Your life philosophy can be summed up as, "Whatever will be, will be." Your greatest wish is to live each day a little better than the next.You are naturally calm and stable. Some people would call you a rock.You feel one with the world. You are a spiritual person, though no one who knows you would guess it.


Your Attention Span is Medium
Your attention span is just about average.You may think that you have a short attention span...But being distracted is something most people struggle with.The most important thing is that you're aware that your mind wanders.If you find yourself daydreaming, you can usually snap out of it.It may be tough to concentrate at times, but you can do it... if you want to!




What Your Taste in Music Says About You
Your musical tastes are intense and rebellious.You are intelligent... but in a very unconventional way.You are curious about the world. You love doing something new.In fact, you enjoy taking risks and doing things most people would shy away from.You are very physical. It's likely that you're athletic, but not into team sports.You have the soul of an artist. Beauty and harmony are important to you.


You Are a Realist
You don't see the glass as half empty or half full. You see what's exactly in the glass.You never try to make a bad situation seem better than it is...But you also never sabotage any good things you have going on.You are brutally honest in your assessments of situations - and this always seems to help you cope.


Your Spelling is Okay
You got 5/10 correct.Your spelling is a bit of a problem. Your instincts on how to spell things aren't horrible, but you often make an embarrassing mistake or two.

You Are a Dash
Your life is fast paced and varied. You are realistic, down to earth, and very honest.You're often busy doing something interesting, and what you do changes quickly.You have many facets to your personality, and you connect them together well.You have a ton of interests. While some of them are a bit offbeat, they all tie together well.You friends rely on you to bring novelty and excitement to their lives.(And while you're the most interesting person they know, they can't help feeling like they don't know you well.)You excel in: Anything to do with moneyYou get along best with: the Exclamation Point


What Taylor Means
You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life.You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home.You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble.You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality.You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in.You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising.You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care.You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.


You Could Be a Vampire... If You Had To
Like most people, the thought of being a vampire has crossed your mind. But you're not sure if you'd do it, even if you could.Living forever doesn't sound half bad, if you could live forever with the people you love the most. But do vampires even love? And would the vampire version of you even be you?It's all too much to contemplate. Luckily, the chances of you ever becoming a vampire are astronomically low.What you would like best about being a vampire: Living foreverWhat you would like least about being a vampire: Blood stained teeth


Your Anti Climactic Fortune
Deep into your future, I forsee: A high five


You Are Ugly Underwear!
Comfortable and soft, more people like you than let on.But it's very difficult for you to show yourself in public.

You Are Impact
You are very unique and quite striking. You are forceful and aggressive.You never go unnoticed, and people recognize your power instantly.While you make your presence known, your message is a bit fuzzy.You are not the easiest person to understand, and you're not one for details.

ok the last one is not me at all, but watever i like quizzes, but sometimes they're hard, cuz u don't no how 2 describe urself, idk anywayz, ok, its the 3rd day after the fall, and HOLY CRAP!!!! i'm in MAJOR pain!!!! ugh!!! but the 3rd day is always the worst, but jeez, this is the worst i've ever had it, just siiting hurts, moving, leaning, standing, pretty much EVERYTHING!!! ugh watever, cross ur fingers its better 2morrow!!! i no i am!!! and everything else i can cross without hurting myself more, that will give me good luck!!!

Quizes!!!!!

Your Independence Level: High

You are extremely self reliant and autonomous.You are definitely into doing your own thing.But you also wouldn't turn down help if you needed it.You follow your own path, but you don't do so blindly.


Moose = you are a good swimmer and is comfortable near bodies of water. You like spending time with your friends but you're silent and contemplative as well. You find dawn and dusks to be the most beautiful time of the day.

You throw tempers quikly, thats from another quiz.

so idk y i put this on, but i saw somethin like this on my bff's blog, and i'm bored and its 7:30 AM
so ya. kenna i blame you for my not sleeping, and waking up at 6:15!!!!! AM people AM!!!!

OUCH!!!

so to put it sraight i got bucked off knotch 2day. i was in a western saddle!!! thats the 1st time i've been thrown from 1!!! and he bucks all the time, but not like this, we were in a pattern and he bucked, lunged, and bucked again, then i fell wen he was about 2 land cuz he bucked and longed off the ground, and if i didnt puch off he woulda dragged me, and since i was falling anyway i pushed off and landed in the mud, (it was raining, has been all week) and i scraped my elbow :( i'm not mad at him, it was no big deal, i'm just scared my mom wont let me ride by myself anymore, i mean u guys no that this was the first time i hurt myself wen somebody was there, i never fall wen i'm with somebody!!! i don't get that!!! bad luck i guess, he's only given me 2 concussions, but thrown my 3 times, well 4 now, i've only had him a year, but only 1 time, 2day has somebody been there. i guess that means i've fallen 8 times, thats not much, jeez i'm lucky. i've been riding almost 9 years so... thats pretty good!!! just got bad luck with wen i fall, this is mainly 2 Kenna, cuz our texts don't get 2 each other anymore cuz my fones broken :( but 4 u who read it, tell me wat u think!!! i'm gonna be so sore 2morrow!!!

Help me!!!

my new book ya'll!!! i started writing it!!! and guess wat?!!! i need help!!! if u don't live in the US or used 2 live outside the US, or know alot about wat its like in other counties, please tell me wat its like!!! please please please!!! my new book is about a girl named Missy Zingly. don't ask about the last name please, i don't no y thats wat it is, i just wanted 2 get on with the story, if u have a suggestion, take it away!!! just tell me!!! anyway she's been movng around her whole life, Australia, Ireland, Africa, now she lives in England, and shes fights with her parents about moving, cuz she wants to live in a HOME not a house, she wants friends, and for once she doesnt want to be the new kid from some other country, and for my writing sake and for my sanity they move to the US, she meets new people, gets a boyfreind, and is enjoying herself and all is well, she finds out something weird about the town, and about her family i guess, not exactly sure wat the big thing that happens in the book is yet, cuz i just started not long ago, like 2day, 2nite. so tell me wat u think wat u no, and wat u want her last name 2 be, please!!! i really like where this book is going, and i'm not ready for it 2 die, help me keep it alive!!! please!!!

TAG!!!

No Lying QuizLasts:10 min

1. Last beverage: Sprite
2.Last phone call: Kenna
3.Last text message: Kenna
4.Last cd played: MUSE!!!
5.Last BUBBLE bath:ugh ewww!!! bubbles???
6. Last hug: don't like being touched much
7.Have you ever Dated someone twice: ugh no
8. Have you ever been cheated on: no
9. Last vacation: um does a weekend away count???
10.Have you ever fallen in love: nope
11.Have you ever lost someone special: alot :(
12.Have you ever Been depressed: once
13. Have you ever been drunk and threw up: ugh no...
14.List 5 people you can tell anything to: Kenna, Lauren thats pretty much it
15.List your favorite colors: BLACK!!! BLACK!!! RED ROAN!!!
Have you:
1. Laughed: just lie 2 seconds ago
2. Met someone who changed your life? many
3. Found out who your true friends are? ya
4. Wanted to lower the drinking age? yes
5. Gay, Straight, or Bi? straight
6. Who is the best hugger that you know? DONT LIKE BEING TOUCHED!!!
7. Do you believe in Love at first sight? a girl can dream!!!
8. Is there something you want to tell someone? yup!!!
9. Brand of shirt you are wearing? ugh... brand???
10. How many people on your top friends do you know in real life? on wat??? here??? like 2 lol
11. How many kids do you want to have? no idea... do horses count?? dogs??? cats???
12. Do you have any pets? 7
13. Do you wanna change your name? nope. cant picture me as anything else
14. What did you do for your last birthday? um nothin'
15. What time did you wake up today? 6:29 exactly
16.What were you doing at midnight last night?sleeping i believe
17.Last time you saw your mother? ugh, 10 min.
18. What are you listening to right now? MUSE!!!
19. Have you ever donated money to a good cause? all the time!!!
20. Have you ever talked about someone behind their back? yup :( not all bad tho!!!
21. What's the last piece of clothing you borrowed from anyone? um shoes, cuz up until yesterday i only had 1 pair!!!! not my fault!!! they were my riding boots!!!
22. Who's getting on your nerves right now? nobody!!! :)
23.Most visited webpage? ugh, hmm must be Karl Halliday i think either him or Kenna, maybe Tuesday
24. Coke or Pepsi? Pepsi!!!
25. Have you kissed or been kissed by anyone in the past month? nope!!! single!!! always have been *rolls eyes and shakes head smiling*

hmm, scary

i was riding Knotch 2day. he fell, we were running and he fell. on his knees. ran on his knees and jumped back up. niether of us were seriously hurt, just a little shakin, for him, cuz he fell, for me... i had a flashback. 2 years ago i was riding dolly by myself, and she fell on my leg, no serious injuries, but since i was by myself... and it hurt... doll was hurt... i was scared. and so now i can't stop thinking about it, or zena. and my incedent with her, huuuu, sry, my posts lately have all been about horses, but i dont have much else 2 say...UNTIL NOW!!! i have another idea for a book!!! i know 3 at a time is alot, but i'm 2 excited. i was reading Tuesday's blog, and i'm using some of wats really happened and happening 2 her!!! so thank you so much Tuesday!!!

RAIN!!!

ok so 2day i had plans 2 ride with my friend, her name is Taylor 2!!!!! weird right??? anyway, so i got up at 6 15 and it was raining so i txted her and we both agreed not to ride. well, i had 2 feed the horses anyway. i walked down there, its only a 1/4 of a mile i think, so it only takes a little bit. its a great walk in the morning, very calm, horses are always out 2, so its pretty. as soon as i got 2 the barn it stopped raining!!! i was mad!!! Taylors not comming and it stopped raining!!!! i wanted it 2 rain!!!! we NEED it. if Taylors not comming and now its not raining i'm mad!!! well i decided it didnt matter, we got rain last night. so i fed them, i noticed Dolly(oldest mare, 28 yrs, riding her 4 9 yrs) had a a cut on her, still bleeding and everything. i looked at it and right away could tell Knotch bit her. its not a big bite o anything, bit it'll probly scar. so i disinfected it, and got blood on my hands and it was really sad, it looked like it hurt. right then i was hoping it would rain so i could clean my hands off, but it didnt, so i put this goo on it, suppost 2 stop the bleeding and make it heal faster. so i was done right i was about 2 go rinse my hands off with the hose. but lucky me, it started POORING!!!!! like, i could barely even see!!! knotch and dolly took off for the barn. but i didnt want 2 go all the way over there. so i climbed into my 2 horse trailers tack room, which is tiny, and packed with ALL my equipment, vet supplies, and a whole bunch of stuff!!! i barely fit, and on top of that i was 2 tall 2 stand up all the way!!! i'm only 5'5!!! jeez!!! how small can you make a horse trailer!!! anyway, i called my mom 2 come get me 2 times with no answer, so i got out, and by that time i was soaked, but i was gonna walk home anyway, so it didnt really matter, but there the truck is!!! i ran to the gate!!! which was totally pointless, but i was happy. and i got in the car, and here i am now, about 45 min. later, waiting 4 my best friend 2 get online so we can do that awesome chat thing that she just showed my, but she had 2 get her new colt Buster out of the rain, so shes not on yet. but guess wat!!!! my hands r clean!!!! i like washed them a bogillian times, and then i washed them in the shower, and wen i got out and than was the last time. but anyway, this is my lame story of wat happened 2 me already and its like only 9!!!

i'm excited, but not really

ok start out with some REALLY good news. Knotch. Did. Freakin. Awesome. Yesterday!!!! the best he's done since i got him!!!!!!! we did key hole, spur, baseball, side passing, 180s 360s he did it all!!! here is the bigg suprise!!! dun dun dun... he LOPED th poles 4 the first time ever!!!! lead changes and all!!!! he ran in baseball and i got it in and ran straight barrels!!!!!!!!!! 4 those of u that no about Knotch, even a little bit, u no how big a deal this is, its just wat i needed going in2 high school rodeo 2gether. there are no words for how happy i was!!! and the sunday b4 that, somebody was cutting down trees!!! LOUDLY!!! and crap was falling all over the place right next 2 us, like on the other side of the fence, and not 1 time did he freak!!! now that i told you all the good, explain this 2 me, after all that, i gave a bath with soap and everything and guess wat!!! HE. GOT. SCARED. OF. THE. SOAP!!!! i could have screamed so loud!!! i was mad!!! so mad that i was laughing so hard i started CRYING!!! so like... o my god, it was so funny, then i had 2 get it off him... ha, u shoulda been there Kenna. i dont no wat 2 do with him...

on another not school starts in less than 2 weeks!!! thats wat the title is 4. not excited bout school but rodeo, kenna? guess wat, i'm gonna work the Black and Blue!!! and ur gonna be in it!!! u dont have a choice!!! sunday or not!!! anyway g2g ride!!! maybe i'll give Knotch another bath... lol

My Dolly

ok so this poem is about my horse Dolly,i've known her for almost 9 years, been riding her for 8. she is the best horse EVER i love her so much!!! so i wrote this about her. its not that good but thats ok, watever. so here goes

A heart of gold,
So pure and sweet,
I grab a hold,
And take a seat,

You make me whole,
My beautiful mare,
You carry my soul,
We are a pair,

You glide along,
And carry me well,
A beautiful song,
Your hoof beats tell.

heres another 1.


Darkness surrounds me,
Like a blanket of calm,
Helping me see,
A sweet loving song,

I carry it with me,
Where ever I go,
My secret key,
To loving you so,

Without you,
The light is gone,
I welcome the dark,
A sweet loving song,

It takes my aching for you away,
So I can see,
It gets me through the day,
Letting me be,

I need you here,
My true love,
My sweet dear,
We fit like a glove.

i hoped you enjoyed them!!!- Taylor Tot

weird

ok i totally got inspired by absolutly nothing!!! i dont no where this came from, its not awesome, but i personally think its better that the other 2, the 2 that sucked, well ya anyway, this is sad, about 2 people who loved and 1 dies, but the other still feels them there, and they will be with the other forever, because love never dies. well, thats how i think of this poem, tell me wat u think!!!

A single tear falls,
Breaking on the ground,
The whisper of his voice calls,
It’s a glorious sound,

I realize he’s gone,
Never to return,
My memory of him forgone,
Yet for him I yearn,

My eyes are dead,
I feel so numb,
My heart is in shreds,
A pain I can’t overcome,

There is his voice,
His soothing voice like a song,
I had no choice,
Its with him that I belong,

I close my eyes,
And drift away,
To where my love never dies,
Forever he leads my way

GRRRRRRR!!!

grrr is my new word/sound, i say it all the time now. idk y!!! ok i still am just SO uninspired, being uninspired sucks!!! i feel so... so, well, unispired. and i find it hard 2 no wat 2 write about here now 2, i just dont get it!!! um let me think, um ok heres something.

i'm going 2 a family reunion 2morrow morning, so 2morrow and the next day i dont no if i'll be on, i dont think they have internet, but sunday nite i should have something good 2 write about,. and if i dont, i wouldnt be suprised, but watever thats fine, i gotta go- Taylor Tot

been a while

it has been so long since i've sat at a computer trying 2 write a poem and i'm just so uninspired!!! its weird, then i came here and i'm like, 'wat do i say?' again uninspired!!! i really don't know wat 2 say so i'm gonna put up some of the worste poetry that i'm truly embarrased 2 put on, but i got nothin else, u'll be able 2 see i had no idea wat 2 write.

You tore out my heart,
You ripped me apart,

Look into my world,
See what I see,
What I am unfurled,
See why I plea,

I’m dead inside,
I’m dead inside,
Its over,
I’m gone.



I run the red light,
Who cares about that?
It’s been a tough night,
I don’t want to chat,

I drive reckless and free,
Who cares about that?
Let me be me,
I don’t want to chat,

I’m leery and tired,
Who cares about that?
I’m so uninspired,
I don’t want to chat.


c, terrible unispired poetry!!! u can tell me how bad it is, i know, it sucks!!! maybe i'll be inspired if u tell me i suck, i dont know, maybe worth a try i guess

A pengelum

please exuse my spelling during this.

i was reading somebody elses blog and it talked about violence in the world, about the nazis and such. well i'm going 2 give my opinion on some things.

i think that our country, every country actually, is like a pengelum. in the sense of politics, war, stuff like that. its hard 2 explain, so tell me if i don't make sense.

wen our country makes a decision about... lets say, if we want 2 be a democratic or republican nation, our opinions are greatly swayed by our current situation. which is by no means a bad thing. but wen we make a decision, we can't seem 2 stick with it, after a little, we get sick of being one way or the other. a good example of this would be war. not long ago werent we all wanting 2 go 2 war?!!! well not all of us, but alot were. now that we got wat we wanted in the 1st place, wat do we do? complain about how Bush didnt make the right decision and that we dont want another republican president because we want out of this war. THE 1 WE WANTED!!!! so as u see. wen the pengelum swings one way it stays there, but only 4 a little, then it swings 2 the other side. just like the opinions of our world.

i would love 2 hear your thought on this matter- Taylor Tot

yayayayayayay!!!!

BREAKING DAWN PARTAY!!!!
i am sososososososososossososososososossoso excited!!! nananabooboo!!!! i'm gonna finnish b4 u victoria!!!! haha sry u guys i've just always wanted 2 say that, aparently i like making myself look stupid 2 others. but thats ok, watever. i'm sosososososossosososossososososososososososooooooooooooooooooooo......... Happy, Excited, Joyfull, happy happy happy!!!! in 9 hour i get my BREAKING DAWN BOOK!!!! yayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayay and 4 those of u who dont get the whole yayayayayayayayayayayayayay thing... ur stupid... i'm just kidding u no i luv ya!!! i'm just saying yay relly fast over and over again but if it ever ends with an a i'm sayng ya over and over, comprehindo??? yayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayaayayayayayayayayayayay!!!!!!! I AM SOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSO EXCITED!!!! ANYBODY ELSE?!!!!!

i believe her now

some1 once told me something that i thought was rediculous, but now i realize she knew more about me than i did. she told me "your joy is you sorrow unmasked" i didnt get it, until now, and then... at the time she told me, i had no idea wat she meant , now i do. i act happy in order 2 fool people in2 thinking that i'm ok, but i'm not!!! i'm NOT ok, but in a wierd way, it... ok. i no this post doesnt make that much sense, but it makes perfect sense 2 me and i needed 2 say it, tell it 2 somebody, anybody- Taylor Tot

white yet dark

don't really like this poem much, but i wrote it, so i decided 2 put it up anyway.

It came in a letter,
White yet dark,
This won’t ever get better,
Its left a permanent mark,

Stabbing your heart,
Again and again,
It rips you apart,
It always wins in the end,

A heartless fiend,
Killing at all costs,
Nobody intervened,
Now all is lost,

My death is now,
I don’t really mind,
Its something I can allow,
Now I wont be confined.


ok so i like this 1, its happy my first happy poem!!!! inspired by the song Your guardian Angel by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus


I will be there for you,
I’ll always care for you,
I’ll never let you fall,
My little baby doll,

I’ll love you forever,
You make me better,

Be there for me,
And I’ll be there for you,
Come and see,
If only you knew,

My love for you is strong,
It’ll never go wrong,
I’ll get you through the hardest parts,
Before the pain ever starts,

Follow me,
I know the way,
Come and see,
It’ll be okay.

Never The Same

I don’t understand,
I don’t know why,
This wasn’t planned,
Please just don’t die,

Stop and think,
Is this what you want?
It’s like permanent ink,
This isn’t nonchalant,

It could be over soon,
Its not a game,
No silly cartoon,
You’ll never be the same.

I hope u enjoyed this poem, i no most of mine are kinda depressing, but thanx 4 all u guys who comment and read them, it means alot.

www.thunderhawk.org

for those of you like me. ur fascinated by animals, i love horses, but i can't help but want 2 do more, so many people work with horses, and i hope 2 always be 1 of those people. but i feel like i should do more, if you havent been 2 this website u need 2 go, tigers, 2 me are the most amazing creatures, i like white bangal tigers, but the one spesifically on this site that i think is just the most beautiful animal i have ever seen is named Iyotaka Tatanka, u cant describe him in words, but you really need 2 look at all of the cats, i look on google and search all the sites but this one in particular captured my attention, the website is the title 4 this entry but i'll type it again... www.thunderhawk.org

ITS REALLY 2 JL(JOEL)

AHHHHHHHHHHH!!! ok so i got up at 5 15 AM, which wasnt 2 bad, i only got about 5 hours sleep, but thats ok cuz i got up 2 ride. well i just got done riding!!! and its alomost THREE!!!!! i'm gonna be sososososo sore 2morrow!!! AND OMG Knotch ROCKS @ flyin' W, he was awesome, and he isnt even pattered yet, wish that it was a rodeo event! but they do have it at the Saddle Clubs Playdays so thats good!!! but anyway i have 2 go 2 my dads soon so i gotta get ready, ttyl

I've been tagged...

what ya do is list five (mildly interesting) things bout yourself and then tag 5 more people. i have no idea who i'm gonna tag, so i'm gonna go through my comments...

1. inside jokes 4 JL (pronounced JOEL), my bff JL kalls me Talylor (pronounced Tally lore).
2. dot dot dot is 1 of my new fav. sayings
3. i dont remember anything about 2 whole years of my life
4. i stare in2 space alot and just, well... space out all the time
5. i laugh 4 absolutely no reason.

random poems that r really just thots

I just don't remember,
I don't want to remember,
its just to hard,
its why i fell apart,
it shredded my heart.



my heart is not whole,
it contains giant gaps,
i have no more soul,
i am empty.



my only complete poem from last night.

One dark sleepless night,
I lay awake with fear,
My brain set replaying that terrinble sight,
As my eyes overflow with tears,

I always thought I had to be strong,
And I succeded until now,
But I held everything in to long,
So I lay crying now,

My memory was erased,
Nothing from two whole years,
My memories locked away and safely cased,
So now I lay, overflowing with these tears,

its an unusual feeling,
I didn't understand it at first,
But now I realize i'm finally healing,
And I really never was cursed.

weird thots by me

U no wat I think is funny, in a way that isn’t really funny enuf 2 laugh at, people like me who say stuff that just doesn’t make much sense, I say that’s pretty ugly all the time. U no, that shirt is pretty ugly… wats that suppost 2 mean, pretty ugly, maybe its pretty in an ugly way, I don’t know, wat I mean is that its ugly but I always add pretty right b4, just outa habit. Or stupid smart, its suppost 2 mean really smart, but I have 2 say stupid smart instead.
I also understand y people get confused while learning English!!! I doesn’t make sense!!! Y do we park in a driveway and drive on a parkway? That is stupid; shouldn’t it be the other way around??? I think so.

I was reading another guys blog earlier, he made a good point, why is there only one word 4 love wen there r so many types of love? I decided after reading it 2 make my own words up, but I’m going 2 document them so I don’t forget them. Some of u might have noticed wen I comment u I forget wat I was saying, and then I say that and have 2 come back l8ter 2 finnish it, well then I REALLY don’t know wat I was sayin!!! Then I realize I coulda just read wat I had typed and then I woulda remembered. I do that a lot.

I also think that English is 2 confusing, maybe I wouldn’t always b confused if thought was spelled more like it sounds… thot, instead they added a silent u, g, and an h, just 4 the fun of it. It’s the same way with laugh, and science.

2nite I was watching this stand up comedian, he had some pretty funny jokes. He said something like this- “ I went 2 a donut shop, u no 2 buy a donut. I gave the lady my money and she handed me a piece of paper. Now y would I need that I bought a donut on record, cant u just give me the donut, I do not need proof that I bought it, because after about 30 seconds of gettin’ it it will have disappeared.” Now its a lot funnier wen he says it, but I was laughing so hard.

I also think its funny 2 watch my mom, she cries so easily. It doesn’t matter if shes happy or sad, either way she cries, sometimes I don’t know which it is. I cry wen I laugh 2 hard. Every1 thinks its funny 2 watch me laugh because it keeps getting higher and higher the harder I’m laughing, then I’m laughing so hard that no sound comes out. I have my moms laugh. I laugh wen I’m tired, really hard, there’s never anything 2 laugh at either, I just laugh, and u don’t want 2 c me on Benidril, I don’t know how 2 spell it sry, but I get really really hyper. And that makes me laugh, which makes me laugh harder.

By the way I will try 2 keep posting and reading ya’lls blogs but my laptop is being shipped away 2 be fixed so sry it might be a while. But I swear I will get on wen I can- Taylor Tot

Meet the cast!!!

Well, didnt get 2 meet them, there were over 10,000 people there JUST 4 Twilight!!! i was in that lucky 7000 who got in 2 the room with the cast, they got interviewed and i got 2 see an unavailable clip of the movie anywhere else which was cool!!! they all looked so nervous hear are some of the ?s asked:

to Taylor(Jacob) and Rob(Edward), asked by 1 of the members of a group called The Twilight Moms- " Boxers or Briefs?" she asked. i was thinking: ' wat type of ? is that? u can't hit on them!!! ur a mom!!!, there was no answer.

4 all the cast, asked by some girl who looked about 18: "wat was one of the funniest or unexpected things that happened while filming" my thought- 'Good ?!!! ur not as stupid as that dumb mom', answer- " Rob(Edward) and Kristin(Bella) were acting out a kissing seen and they were on the bed. well Rob got carried away, so much in fact that he fell off the bed." everyone laughed, it was funny 2 c the look on his face when they said that 2 every1.

i'll post more wen i remember them!!! they're was a few more funny ones.

New Insperation

So thats me and Mark, our waiter at some awesome restraunt, that i had the best Pizza in my life at about 30 minutes ago, he was awesome!!! really nice, 4 some reason he reminded me of a cool charactor 4 a book, so thats him.

some other random pics some from 2day like the one above and some... not from 2day.

Haunted

She cries herself to sleep at night,
Her parents cause her such a fright,
They kick, punch, yell and scream,
Now she tries just to live in a happy dream,

But the pain stays,
Haunting her throughout her days,
And night mares come by dark,
Her parents left a scaring mark,

She has to run far away,
To take herself into a better day,
No more sleepless nights,
She needs to get away from their pointless fights,

There is no light in the brightest of days,
She thought that this was the only way,

To get away from it all,
To stand on her own two feet,
To stand proud and tall,
It’s them she must defeat,

They deprived her of happiness,
Let her live in the dark,
Its time for her to leave her own angry mark

HEY JOSE

HEY!!! HOPE YOU LIKE MY BLOG!!! I HOPE 2 MEET YOU SOME DAY!!!- Taylot Tot

ps. sry, don't know how 2 do the dash above the e

sufficating

I plunged into my death without fear,
I had nothing to be scared of,
There’s nothing left for me here,
There’s nothing that I love,

I sank into the deep ocean,
The suffocation was healing me,
Forgetting all the commotion,
And letting me be free,

I welcomed the pain,
Making it my friend,
Letting it heal me with all that it may contain,
The pain is helping me mend,

My heart has broken too many times,
I should be dead by now,
I committed to many innocent crimes,
To many for the world to allow,

So here I go,
I’ll die before dawn
I’ve lost my glow,
So now I’m gone

typo on the last post

i ment 3 laps sry

Knotch

I love my horse so much, i really do!!! but sometimes i just want to KILL HIM!!! i'm getting better though! most times i just laugh wen he does stupid stuff, like 2day at riding, every summer we play a game, and basically there are 2 barrels across from each other, both with buckets, one is filled with balloons and you have 2 get as many as you can 2 the other side in 3 minutes, well... 4 those of you who know about Knotch, u no how big a problem this task is. well... its definantly a challenge because he acted like the balloons and the buckets were gonna eat him!!! so after about a minute and a half i got off grabbed as many balloons as i could and ran with him behind me and put them on the other side, i made about 2 3 laps and holy crap i was tired!!! don't judge until u ran that far in deep sand pulling a horse!!! its NOT EASY!!! at the last lap my coach let me get on Moose, which is the best 4 year old horse you could ever meet, shes had him sinse he was born, hes so good, so i almost got all my balloons!!! and at the end after putting up the horse Taylor, Erin and Me had a balloon fight, so we were all soaked!!! it was so much fun!!!

typo on the last post

thats 4 dreams isnt it o well watever

Dreams

so... in my life, i don't dream, well i might, but i do't remember them. so when i do, its a big deal, i can only remeber 3, here they are in order of how they occured:

1. i was little red riding hood, skipping throught the woods, and i get 2 my grandmas house, i can't get in, then theres a huge wolf, and it helps me get in 2 c grandma, but she was mean 2 me so the wolf helped me home... well i rode him home.

2.this is a reoccuring dream, its about 2 seconds long, and it always wakes me up. i'm falling. thats it theres not a cliff, nothing, but when i wake up, its becuase i'm turning over os something, exept 4 one time... i was actually falling, ouch!!!! it HURT!!!

3. it was after i read Eclipse fro the 8th time, after the battle in the feild, jane is torchering me!!! and the cullens and Riley, abd Bella r LAUGHING at me!!! it was a TERRIBLE feeling, but jane looked really sad, like she didnt want 2. it was confusing

4. my last dream, i had it 2 days ago, and its really confusing!!! so its my brother colten, my mom, and me. we're in an airplane, its about 2 land but me and colten get out of our seats, colten gets right back in and i try but i can't so as the plane is landing i'm standing there and i hurt my back really bad, we called an ambulance, but it was some guy on a motercycle, and then i suddenly was on a stretcher in the hospital, and nobody is there, and then i'm running away with this girl, blonde hair, short and skinny, but we're running from my mom, who doesnt look like my mom but is, anyway, but we're in this town with gaits all in a row, with codes 2 get in and you have 2 type how many people can get into the gait, so shes doing it and some how my mom gets in. then me and her are in the country running by rows of haybails and my moms chasing us with wat looked liked a 56 Belvidere(dont no how 2 spell it) we hide on the backside of the last one and all the sudden my mom ad he car are ontop of the haybail yelling, i get in the car, an then i woke up.

Fallen Angel

this poem doesnt flow, but i like it, not because i think its written well, cuz its not, but because i wrote this about someone special, its really not finnished, but i can't finnish it, everytime i try... i can't describe her right and her story was never finnished so, maybe someday i'll be able 2 finnish this one.

Though I’m not Christian,
I believe fallen angels are true,
Because there was a mission,
To help people like you,

You’re beautiful, you’re sweet,
You’re a pleasure to meet,
You’re special, you’re pure,
You’re the perfect cure,

You fixed scared hearts,
With only your love,
But you broke apart,
Now you fly up higher than the doves,

Fallen angels are true,
That fallen angel was you

Twilight

Its written from Bellas point of veiw, if u don'y know who Bella is its the main charactor of the Twilight Series, read it, i did... 11 times, but anyway here goes...

They were different from the rest,
Shy and out of place,
They looked sort of stressed,
And all had tremendous grace,

They stared blankly at the walls,
And gave little emotion,
All gorgeous like glass dolls,
Or maybe a deep blue ocean,

I couldn’t look away,
As if in a trance,
All else turned to grey,
Just at my first glance.

its alittle weird and choppy is some parts but watever it was on the my first poems

True love

i wrote this one like, 4-ever ago, well wen i found out my dad was getting married so here goes...

For better or for worse,
For rich or for poor,
Its you she will always adore,
She loves you to her core,

Not love at first sight,
Or anything fancy,
Its love till death night,
Not anything chancy,

Together till the end,
Cause its true love,
Someone you can depend,
He’s there to help your heart mend.

fyi

for those of you cool people who read my poems, or those people who i now love wen you comment them- the poem called heart, the one about the necklace, well wats funny is that i never realized how weird i feel without it on. my locket i mean. 2day @ the water park, i kept trying 2 grab it, and it was never there, i felt kind of... empty, i guess you could say. i ALWAYS wear it. i ALWAYS am messing with it. so i kept trying 2 look @ the pic in it and i could'nt!!! i know it sound ridiculous, its just a necklace right, well 2 u its just a necklace, but 2 me its more. i don't know y i wanted 2 post this, but i wanted 2 4 some reason, i don't have reasons y i do things alot lately. but for those of you who read all my crap and ridiculousness... i love you for it, alot that i post is just a bunch of crap. so thanx 4 stickin' with me!!!

bty again again

in case you wanted 2 know, my times are screwed. everything is 2 hours early!!! i don't know y but i'm bored.

bty again

thats my dads side my moms side theres 2 state the obvious, my mom, the Jay, colten, and me

bty

4 those who don't no me, theres 6 kids in my family, and then my dad and ammie and my grandma came with us 4 the last post

hurricane harbor- nothing but lazy river and irritating people and 1 cool guy.

ok... so my WHOLE family went 2 hurricane harbor, most would ride all the rides, run around or watever. i decided the lines were WAY 2 LONG!!! so i was in the lazy river ALL DAY!!! it was so much fun!!! i met this kid, he musta been like... 12 or something, but he did basically wat i did, exept he stood in the same spot and everytime i came by we would talk, he took my brothers gay indiana jones hat that is so ridiculous looking i want 2 shred and burn it!!! but anyway he was like... really cool. and he had an AWESOME hat!!! but anyway so i stayed in the river thingy for like... about i'd say 6 hours!!! which turned out 2 b really fun!! except for the part where my sister ripped part of my toenail off!!! gross!!! and then some guy was like stocking me, and he was really annoying, and then this one guy who must have had freakishly long toenails ran into me!!! his nail like... dug into my heel and omg it HURT!!! now I've got a cut on my right heel in a... like... semi-circle shape??? i don't know how 2 explain it, but god did i want 2 do the same 2 him!!! he didnt even say sry wen i like... SHRIEKED!!! just kept going!!! wat a jerk right?!!! anyway, watever it was really fun!!!

Telloport or hellocopter?

I like telloport better, but since that doesnt exist or some rediculous reason why we can't use it, Mckenna is either going 2 have 2 become a Vampire of get her own Hellicopter!!!!! i vote Vampire, that way she can turn me and then it wouldnt be such a hassle 2 get 2 riding and c each other. c when we're vampires everything works out.

broken

She keeps what she’s feeling,
Tucked away in her black heart,
She’s gotten good at concealing,
But soon she’ll break apart,

She puts on a fake smile,
An echoic laugh,
Nothing seems worth her while,
Her heart just broke in half,

Her face looks pale,
Her eyes sunk in,
She’s very frail,
She just can’t win,

She hangs by a thread,
Not one more tear can she shed,
For she has run out,
All she has is doubt,

There is no need to live,
Her heart is in shreds,
There’s nothing else to give,
So now she is dead.

Breaking Dawn Release

ok ya'll that live near here, the barnes and nobles is having a huge party from 9pm-12am @ the store, the 1 near the new shops with the movie theater. ok so ya the need people to work. if ur under 17 u have 2 have ur parents permission. but if ur over 17 u don't need it. but if you guys r free u should totally help, i feel bad i don't no if i'm goona be in town cuz i'm goin 2 San Diego for the comic con 4 the twilight movie!!! or i totally would, if i'm in town i'm going, but i SO SO SO feel bad i can't sign up. anyway, if you can... u need 2 help.